I called this morning to check on Elliott. What I heard on the other end of the line was not what I've been hearing every time I call. This time the nurse said that when she changed Elliott's diaper this morning, there was blood in his stool. Once I heard that my mind began to spin out of control. I haven't voiced this to anyone, but in the back of my head for about a week now I have had the thought (which is not from God) of "when is something going to go wrong? Things are just going too well." Today is that day. The nurse said the doctors are coming in this morning to do x-rays and tests. They are suspending his feedings for the time being. So, there goes his healthy weight gain. He was 4 lb. 10 oz. last night when they weighed him.
I don't know what to feel right now. I'm scared of what this could mean, but right now I don't really know anything. I've been reading on the internet about what it could be, and the scenarios are varied but all of them are pretty scary! He could have what they call Necrotizing Enterocolitis (NEC), which is a serious gastro intestinal infection. It happens when bottle feedings are introduced. Since Elliott recently had his first bottle feeding, I'm so afraid this could be what he has. Treatments can range from meds and antibiotics to full blown surgery on his intestines. I told the nurse to have someone call me after the doctors see him.
Please pray for Elliott and for us to not completely lose it right now. My first instinct is to get in the car and drive to Memphis, but like the nurse said, if he is sick, they won't let us in to see him anyway. I feel helpless at the moment, but in the middle of all my whirling thoughts, there is that voice again saying, "Do you trust me?"
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Philippians 4:8 (New International Version)
ReplyDeleteFinally, brothers, whatever is TRUE, whatever is NOBLE, whatever is RIGHT, whatever is PURE, whatever is LOVELY, whatever is ADMIRABLE—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.
Allison, when your head begins to reel with all the "what-ifs" quote this Scripture to yourself. (sometimes even outloud.) The Lord doesn't provide grace for the "what-ifs" but for the "what IS." Cling to Him, cast all your cares on Him, for He cares for you. He holds Elliott in the palm of His hand, even when you cannot be there. We are praying for all three of you and the doctors and nurses.