Elliott’s Story
Elliott Duncan is the name we have picked out for a particular baby boy who has already changed our lives. This is his story:
Back in April of this year (2009) we first heard of a young girl in Tennessee who was pregnant for the second time. She was contemplating adoption for her baby. I won’t use her real name but I will call her Anna and she is 19 years old. Her due date was October 8th. We learned of her through my sister. Anna is a relative of my sister’s ex husband. When we first heard of Anna and her situation we were a little nervous and did not want to pursue the child. Everything logical said steer clear of getting involved with this, but sometimes God challenges us to trust Him by presenting difficult circumstances, and a quiet voice said, “Do you trust me?”
Over the next several weeks we continued to get bits of information about Anna and her baby. October 8th was getting closer and while we did not know for sure whether she was REALLY considering adoption, it caused us to be curious and even hope that this was a possibility. You see, up to this point we had been in the China program through The Gladney Center for Adoption for three years, done mountains of paperwork and paid thousands of dollars, yet we were still waiting for a baby and the wait continued to get longer. We just could not wait any longer or spend any more money, so we decided to end our journey of adoption with Gladney.
Every couple of weeks I would get a call from my sister asking us if we were interested in pursuing Anna’s baby. We wanted to find out more about her, yet we were still concerned about the situation. There were many things about Anna and about the birthfather that we did not know enough about, but I continued to hear that quiet voice saying, “Do you trust me?” So, as the days went by and Anna got further along in her pregnancy and October was just around the corner, we decided we should meet her. We began looking at our schedules and we all agreed that the last weekend in July we would meet. We would meet in Arkansas since that was centrally located between Texas and Tennessee. A few days before we were to meet, my sister called to let me know that Anna was having a boy. Brett and I had to smile. Of course she was having a boy because everything that we had collected for our China adoption was for a girl. Oh the sense of humor of God! And there was that quiet voice again, “Do you trust me?”
On July 25, 2009 we met Anna and her mom and Anna’s first son. The meeting was a little awkward and we all really didn’t know what to say to each other, but Brett did a wonderful job of keeping the conversation going. We had Anna answer some pretty difficult questions and we came away from the meeting feeling hopeful that this may actually work out. Anna was sure she wanted us to be her baby’s parents. We couldn’t believe it and WOULDN’T believe it till it actually happened. We had gone through too much to let ourselves get excited yet. We took a few pictures with Anna and her pregnant tummy, spent a few hours visiting and left. Brett and I were both in a daze. Was this really happening?
Over the next four days, Anna, her mother and I spoke on the phone and text messaged each other about how we would handle the details of pursuing this adoption. We would have to get attorneys involved, Anna needed a place to live to get back on her feet, etc. We had been trying diligently to contact our attorney but he was not returning our calls. Anna was getting impatient, we were getting frustrated, and there was that voice again, “Do you trust me?”
And then, Thursday, July 30, 2009 began. First thing that morning I received a text message from Anna’s mother. Anna had been taken to the hospital feeling very ill. That’s all I knew at that point. Throughout the day I was right by the phone wondering what was going on. I got a text message from Anna’s mom saying Anna had fever, pneumonia, dehydration and possibly meningitis. The doctors were still doing tests so the meningitis was not confirmed. But as you can imagine, my thoughts were in a whirlwind. What about the baby, was he okay? That quiet voice was there again, but this time I didn’t want to listen, so I pushed it out of my head! How could this be happening? This was the baby that may be ours, and now there could be something wrong. How could I deal with this? Yeah, pretty much my faith went out the window momentarily until I came back to my senses and took a few deep breaths.
There was nothing I could do but wait for the next call or message. A few hours later, Anna’s mom told me that Anna was being transferred to a different hospital so the baby could be monitored better. By around 3:00 that afternoon I had a knot in my stomach and there were conflicting reports about the meningitis, yes she has it, no she doesn’t, it’s bacterial, no it’s viral………..Ahhh! At around 5:30 I got a text that Anna was having contractions. Brett and I both looked at each other and knew what the other was thinking: she could have that baby early or worse, she could lose him.
I will never forget the next few moments for the rest of my life. I was making a pot of beef stew for dinner and my cell phone was on the coffee table in the living room. Brett and I sat down to eat and I thought I better check my phone for messages. Sure enough, there was a voicemail. It was Anna’s mom and all she said was, “You need to call me right away!” I called her and immediately I could hear the concern in her voice. She said, “She just had that baby!” I wanted to fall out of my chair! He was two months early! Brett began to cry and I just stared at my bowl of beef stew.
A few hours later we learned that the baby was 3 lbs. 10 oz., born at 6:15 p.m. on July 30, 2009. He had pneumonia and was a very sick little baby. Both Brett and I were scared to death and my immediate thought was I can’t take on this baby! How in the world can we agree to take a baby that is sick? We wanted a healthy baby. And then that voice……that voice that always comes into my head when I try to rely on myself, was there again, “Do you trust me?”
It is now August 4th. Brett and I have had time to digest all of the crazy information and we have come back to our senses. The baby who we now are calling Elliott is doing much better. He still has a long road, but he is making progress. The meningitis scare is over, that was ruled out. The pneumonia is gone and his lungs are clear. Anna was released from the hospital and has assured us that she is committed to this adoption plan. She is just very anxious to get the process started. So, as scary as it is, we think we are going to be parents. After all these years of waiting, it is happening right now. Elliott is still in the NICU and will be for the next 6 weeks or so. We are now speaking with attorneys and getting the ball rolling so that little Elliott Duncan will be ours. We have pictures of him, but have not gone to visit him yet. He is so tiny. That’s the next thing we are planning: a trip for me to go be with him.
We know this journey is just beginning and the legal process will probably have us in tears more than once before baby Elliott is officially Elliott Duncan Menke, but each time we think we can’t do it and want to scream and pull our hair out, we hear that voice again, “Do you trust me?” And our answer has to be, “Yes, we do.”
Elliott Duncan is the name we have picked out for a particular baby boy who has already changed our lives. This is his story:
Back in April of this year (2009) we first heard of a young girl in Tennessee who was pregnant for the second time. She was contemplating adoption for her baby. I won’t use her real name but I will call her Anna and she is 19 years old. Her due date was October 8th. We learned of her through my sister. Anna is a relative of my sister’s ex husband. When we first heard of Anna and her situation we were a little nervous and did not want to pursue the child. Everything logical said steer clear of getting involved with this, but sometimes God challenges us to trust Him by presenting difficult circumstances, and a quiet voice said, “Do you trust me?”
Over the next several weeks we continued to get bits of information about Anna and her baby. October 8th was getting closer and while we did not know for sure whether she was REALLY considering adoption, it caused us to be curious and even hope that this was a possibility. You see, up to this point we had been in the China program through The Gladney Center for Adoption for three years, done mountains of paperwork and paid thousands of dollars, yet we were still waiting for a baby and the wait continued to get longer. We just could not wait any longer or spend any more money, so we decided to end our journey of adoption with Gladney.
Every couple of weeks I would get a call from my sister asking us if we were interested in pursuing Anna’s baby. We wanted to find out more about her, yet we were still concerned about the situation. There were many things about Anna and about the birthfather that we did not know enough about, but I continued to hear that quiet voice saying, “Do you trust me?” So, as the days went by and Anna got further along in her pregnancy and October was just around the corner, we decided we should meet her. We began looking at our schedules and we all agreed that the last weekend in July we would meet. We would meet in Arkansas since that was centrally located between Texas and Tennessee. A few days before we were to meet, my sister called to let me know that Anna was having a boy. Brett and I had to smile. Of course she was having a boy because everything that we had collected for our China adoption was for a girl. Oh the sense of humor of God! And there was that quiet voice again, “Do you trust me?”
On July 25, 2009 we met Anna and her mom and Anna’s first son. The meeting was a little awkward and we all really didn’t know what to say to each other, but Brett did a wonderful job of keeping the conversation going. We had Anna answer some pretty difficult questions and we came away from the meeting feeling hopeful that this may actually work out. Anna was sure she wanted us to be her baby’s parents. We couldn’t believe it and WOULDN’T believe it till it actually happened. We had gone through too much to let ourselves get excited yet. We took a few pictures with Anna and her pregnant tummy, spent a few hours visiting and left. Brett and I were both in a daze. Was this really happening?
Over the next four days, Anna, her mother and I spoke on the phone and text messaged each other about how we would handle the details of pursuing this adoption. We would have to get attorneys involved, Anna needed a place to live to get back on her feet, etc. We had been trying diligently to contact our attorney but he was not returning our calls. Anna was getting impatient, we were getting frustrated, and there was that voice again, “Do you trust me?”
And then, Thursday, July 30, 2009 began. First thing that morning I received a text message from Anna’s mother. Anna had been taken to the hospital feeling very ill. That’s all I knew at that point. Throughout the day I was right by the phone wondering what was going on. I got a text message from Anna’s mom saying Anna had fever, pneumonia, dehydration and possibly meningitis. The doctors were still doing tests so the meningitis was not confirmed. But as you can imagine, my thoughts were in a whirlwind. What about the baby, was he okay? That quiet voice was there again, but this time I didn’t want to listen, so I pushed it out of my head! How could this be happening? This was the baby that may be ours, and now there could be something wrong. How could I deal with this? Yeah, pretty much my faith went out the window momentarily until I came back to my senses and took a few deep breaths.
There was nothing I could do but wait for the next call or message. A few hours later, Anna’s mom told me that Anna was being transferred to a different hospital so the baby could be monitored better. By around 3:00 that afternoon I had a knot in my stomach and there were conflicting reports about the meningitis, yes she has it, no she doesn’t, it’s bacterial, no it’s viral………..Ahhh! At around 5:30 I got a text that Anna was having contractions. Brett and I both looked at each other and knew what the other was thinking: she could have that baby early or worse, she could lose him.
I will never forget the next few moments for the rest of my life. I was making a pot of beef stew for dinner and my cell phone was on the coffee table in the living room. Brett and I sat down to eat and I thought I better check my phone for messages. Sure enough, there was a voicemail. It was Anna’s mom and all she said was, “You need to call me right away!” I called her and immediately I could hear the concern in her voice. She said, “She just had that baby!” I wanted to fall out of my chair! He was two months early! Brett began to cry and I just stared at my bowl of beef stew.
A few hours later we learned that the baby was 3 lbs. 10 oz., born at 6:15 p.m. on July 30, 2009. He had pneumonia and was a very sick little baby. Both Brett and I were scared to death and my immediate thought was I can’t take on this baby! How in the world can we agree to take a baby that is sick? We wanted a healthy baby. And then that voice……that voice that always comes into my head when I try to rely on myself, was there again, “Do you trust me?”
It is now August 4th. Brett and I have had time to digest all of the crazy information and we have come back to our senses. The baby who we now are calling Elliott is doing much better. He still has a long road, but he is making progress. The meningitis scare is over, that was ruled out. The pneumonia is gone and his lungs are clear. Anna was released from the hospital and has assured us that she is committed to this adoption plan. She is just very anxious to get the process started. So, as scary as it is, we think we are going to be parents. After all these years of waiting, it is happening right now. Elliott is still in the NICU and will be for the next 6 weeks or so. We are now speaking with attorneys and getting the ball rolling so that little Elliott Duncan will be ours. We have pictures of him, but have not gone to visit him yet. He is so tiny. That’s the next thing we are planning: a trip for me to go be with him.
We know this journey is just beginning and the legal process will probably have us in tears more than once before baby Elliott is officially Elliott Duncan Menke, but each time we think we can’t do it and want to scream and pull our hair out, we hear that voice again, “Do you trust me?” And our answer has to be, “Yes, we do.”
We are praying for you guys and Elliott.
ReplyDeletePhillipians 4:4-7
Love ya!
Jim and Karla
I'm in tears, Allison, reading this post. I have been praying daily for this answer to prayer for you... I'll continue to pray until He sees it to fruition!! We love you guys!
ReplyDeleteSO so happy for you! Can't wait to meet him!
ReplyDelete